


Werebears

by vcg73



Category: Glee
Genre: Blaine is definitely in this too but I try not to tag him on anti-Blaine fics, Gen, Halloween, Kurt and Dave Friendship, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Tumblr: kurtoberfest, anti-blainofsky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 22:11:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16463303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vcg73/pseuds/vcg73
Summary: When Dave realizes that his new boyfriend has been using him as a way to hurt his ex, he decides to retaliate in a most unusual way.





	Werebears

**Author's Note:**

> Picks up around the start of the final season, but goes completely AU at the point where Kurt runs off to the Scandals bathroom in tears. I borrowed just a little from the original film version of Teen Wolf. Crackfic of the most ridiculous kind. :)

“Is he okay? Maybe one of us should go check on him.”

Blaine shrugged and took another sip of his beer. “He’s fine. Just being dramatic, as usual. If he didn’t want to see me with someone else then he shouldn’t have broken our engagement. His loss.”

The short man finished off what was left in his mug and reached for Kurt’s abandoned drink. He hadn’t taken more than a sip anyway, he wouldn’t care. As he tossed it back, he suddenly noticed that Dave was giving him a strange look. Almost disapproving.

“What?”

“He didn’t know we were dating?” Dave said, incredulous and clearly shocked by this news. “I thought you said that you’d told him. That he was fine with us seeing each other.”

Blaine shrugged. “I was going to, but it isn’t like we’re still on each other’s speed dial, y’know.” He signaled the bartender for another drink, perking up when it was delivered with pleasing alacrity. “Oh, jeez, Dave. He’s fine. Kurt has no say in who I date, and if seeing me with you upsets him, then it’s no more then he deserves. Not after the way he treated us!”

“Us?” Dave repeated, eyes narrowing as he took in the speed with which the latest in his new boyfriend’s long line of beers was vanishing. “What us? He hasn’t done anything to me, and you told me you guys’ breakup was mutual. That you just weren’t the same kids who fell in love anymore. That Kurt wanted big city life, while you were a small town guy at heart, same as me. In fact, you said that Kurt was happy for us to have found each other.”

Blaine hiccuped, and then laughed bitterly. “That’s what he should be. He should have been happy for me, no matter what. He should have married me, or at least stood back like a good fiance does and let me have all the spotlight I wanted. But did he? Noooo. He had to keep on impressing the Dean and all her stupid Broadway wannabes, and attracting guys who were supposed to look at me, and continue being just fine on his own.”

“Wow,” Dave said, shaking his head and looking at Blaine like he had never seen him before. “That’s what this whole thing has been about, isn’t it? You getting revenge on Kurt for being a success on his own terms. Now that I think back to high school, you never really did like it when Kurt was a success. If I had been in a better place back then, I would have said something, but I really believed you guys had a good thing going. I was even jealous of it. That Kurt could be brave and strong, loving someone so openly, when I couldn’t even bring myself to tell my own family that I was gay. I always thought you must be a pretty great guy if you could impress Kurt Hummel.”

Blaine hiccuped again, making a face as he thumped a fist against his beer-bubble-filled chest and then belched in Dave’s face. Dave disgustedly waved away the fumes that had escaped with the blast, but instead of apologizing, Blaine just flashed him a nasty smile. “So, now we’re even. You used me, I used you.” Seeing Dave’s confused expression, he snarled. “You think I didn’t notice that you couldn’t stop talking about him that first night? You’re stuck on Kurt, always have been, and dating his former boyfriend was as close to Kurt as somebody like you was ever going to get.”

Dave grimaced, but did not deny it. “I didn’t mean for it to be like that, Blaine. I thought we could maybe be friends at first. Just the fact that we had both loved and lost Kurt gave us a starting point. And the love was unrequited on my part, I know that, but it was still common ground. And then you kept coming here, and you were fun and cool to hang out with. You acted really into me too. Hell, when you didn’t seem freaked out by my exes showing up at the restaurant on our first date, I figured you had to be. But that really was an act, wasn’t it?”

Throwing his head back as he polished off his latest beer, Blaine slapped the mug down and brayed with laughter. “Of course it was! I deserved to get revenge on Kurt for dumping me, and what better way than to date the very same guy who caused us to meet in the first place? The scary, death-threatening, force-kissing bully whose abuse drove him to Dalton and into my waiting arms! If his reformed tormentor even preferred me over him, who gets the last laugh then, huh? Huh?”

Blaine actually had the gall to elbow Dave Karofsky in the mid-section as he asked this, winking sloppily as if they were sharing some kind of grand joke. 

Dave shoved him away with one revolted flick of his wrist. Blaine nearly fell off the stool he was perched on, but he kept laughing, growing louder and more obnoxious with every inebriated guffaw. 

Leaving him to it, Dave pushed away from the bar and headed for the men’s room. Quite apart from his disgust with Blaine, he felt worried that Kurt had never come back.

He heard Kurt before he saw him. The bathroom was quiet for a change, no customers milling in and out of the place between drinks and dances. The lack of human traffic made it easy to hear the muffled sobs coming from the stall on the far left. Approaching the door slowly, he knocked twice. “Kurt? It’s Dave.” He could make out a hitching squeak, as though Kurt had literally swallowed another sob in an attempt to hide it. “Look, Kurt. I didn’t know, okay? Blaine told me that he’d told you all about us dating. That you’d given us your blessing, even. If I’d known you were in the dark about it, I never would have agreed to go out with him. Given our history, and your history with Blaine, there’s some things you just don’t do to someone you’ve come to consider a good friend. I feel really awful about this.”

The stall door opened, revealing Kurt’s tear-stained face. He had wiped away the obvious wetness, but his eyes were puffy and his nose was still red and a bit moist. Dave pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and offered it. “It’s clean.”

Kurt glanced at the cloth in surprise, then he managed a slight smile. “I never figured you for the kind of gentleman who carries monogrammed hankies. Thank you.”

As he delicately blew his nose, Dave shuffled a bit in place, feeling that old familiar shyness that always hit when he and Kurt had a friendly moment. “It’s kind of gay, I know, but considering our present location …”

A short bark of humor met this statement. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. I um, I appreciate the loan. I’ll wash this at my Dad’s house and see that it gets back to you as soon as I can.”

Realizing from the way he had phrased it that Kurt was probably not planning to stay long, Dave shrugged one shoulder and said, “Keep it. Like you said, it’s monogrammed. Keep it as a reminder that not everyone in your old home town turned out to be an asshole. Not even the ones who started out that way.”

“You weren’t an asshole,” Kurt said quietly. “You were just scared.”

“I was terrified,” he agreed, then countered, “but I hid it by acting like a Grade-A asshole. To you and everyone else, but you especially. No point in denying that, or what does all the progress I’ve made since mean, right?”

He smiled. “That’s a good way of looking at it.” He twisted the edge of the cloth between his fingers. “I’m sorry I reacted so badly just now. I … didn’t expect to see you. To see the two of you together. Rachel told me this afternoon that you and Blaine were … well, you and Blaine. When he invited me here, I thought he just wanted to talk things out. We didn’t end our relationship on the best note, and I’m kind of ashamed to say it now, with you right here in front of me, but I thought since it had only been a couple of months …”

“That we weren’t very serious yet, and you still had a chance to win him back,” Dave said, surprising Kurt with his quick comprehension. “You were probably right, about all of it. Except … Kurt you need to know what Blaine said to me just now. It … may not even be my business. I’m really not sure any more, but when you left, Blaine had a little too much alcohol and basically told me to my face that he was only dating me to get revenge on you for having your own life and being a success. He apparently thought that if he dated me, it would be a giant Fuck You.” He scratched his cheek with a bemused expression. “I’m not even sure which one of us he cares about less.”

“Oh, Dave,” Kurt said, laying a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you that I feel completely shocked that he would do something like that, but …” He sighed. “I’m really not.”

Dave nodded, finding that he was not actually all that surprised either. He did not even feel especially hurt at having been used in this way. On some level, he had always known that the relationship was little more than a pretense. What he did feel was anger. How could Blaine so coldly and uncaringly use people, and hurt those he claimed to care about? 

“We both deserve better than him,” Dave said firmly, looking Kurt in the eye. “I think you know that too, deep down. It’s why you ended things in the first place. Because you have places to go, people to impress, and worlds to conquer in New York, and he was holding you back from all of them.”

Kurt smiled, more genuinely this time. “You too. Maybe not in New York, but you had big dreams of being a sports agent. That’s some kind of lawyer, isn’t it? You can’t waste your life giving in to someone who will suck away all of your time, all of your friendships, and all of your will to succeed.”

He looked surprised as he said this, as if only now realizing that that’s just what his own life had become while dating Blaine Anderson.

“We’re better off without him,” Dave said firmly, “but he has to learn that he can’t treat people like checkers on a board, jumping ‘em whichever way is the biggest advantage to him. I think he deserves a little payback.”

To Dave’s pleasure, Kurt looked intrigued by this. Now that he was thinking clearly, there was a glint of anger in his vivid blue eyes. The reminder of how Blaine had used them both was melting through the icy pain that had been in his heart when he took shelter in this place. “What kind of payback did you have in mind?”

Dave hesitated. If he were to answer the question honestly, it would require him to share a secret with Kurt that was even bigger than the one he had hidden from him for so long in high school. 

“Did I ever tell you that my family is originally from Europe? Slovakia, mostly, and a few offshoots in Poland and Romania.”

Kurt looked puzzled by the non sequitur but just shook his head. “No, I didn’t know that. Though with a name like Karofsky, I kind of figured Eastern Europe come into the bloodline somewhere.”

“Bloodline, exactly!” he said. “And, um, certain legends about that part of the world turned out to be true. I didn’t find out until I started dating the guys here at Scandals, but I carry the gene.”

“Gene for what?”

He hesitated, then said, “Do you believe in werewolves?“

Kurt looked at him like he’d just grown another head. “Excuse me?”

“Werewolves,” he repeated. “Or, more specifically, were-people because we don’t just take on the guise of wolves. There’s all kinds of wildlife forms that can be adopted depending on who and what you are. It turns out, there’s a whole different reason than I first thought for the guys nicknaming me Bear Cub when I first started coming to Scandals.”

Kurt’s eyes were darting a little as he thought this over, subtly checking the walls for some kind of camera, clearly wondering if he was being pranked in some new and absurd way.

“It’s not a joke,” Dave promised. “I can show you. I just … I don’t want you to be scared of me. Not again. Not ever again.”

Something about those words, or the quiet regretful tone in which he spoke then, seemed to resolve Kurt’s doubts. “I’m not afraid of you. But maybe I am a little bit afraid for you. You’ve been making such amazing progress since you started therapy three years ago. But now you’re telling me that you think you can turn into a, what … a were-bear?”

“I am, and it’s not a psychosis,” he promised. “Turns out it’s just, sort of a … genetic quirk. Like being gay, or being good at football, or having weird-looking toes. A lot of the guys here are. They taught me.”

Kurt laughed. “Weird looking toes? That doesn’t seem quite on a par with growing extra hair and growling at the full moon, or whatever a werebear would do when the urge struck.”

“Can I show you?” he asked, allowing himself to feel hopeful in light of Kurt’s not freaked out reaction. “Promise you won’t be scared.”

“Well, I promise I’ll try not to be. Um … you aren’t going to try and eat me, or maul me or anything, right?”

It was clear from the look on his face that Kurt was only humoring him, expecting Dave to admit to teasing him to cheer him up from his previous sad mood. But joking was the last thing Dave Karofsky had in mind. Stepping back to the door, blocking it with his body in case anyone tried to come in, he drew a long breath and closed his eyes. He concentrated, finding the trigger deep inside himself, and then he opened his eyes.

Kurt had fallen back against the tiled wall, both hands pressed against the cold porcelain surface. His eyes were huge, wild with alarm and disbelief. “Holy shit!” he squeaked. “This can’t be happening. I’ve finally had too much stress and gone over the edge. Wake up, Kurt. Wake up!”

He clunked his head against the hard surface of the wall, but the small (well, compared to a grizzly or something) brown bear that had replaced his friend continued to stand there, blinking calmly at him. 

After a couple of minutes of this standoff, Kurt finally seemed to regain a measure of self-possession. The fact that the bear did not make any sudden or threatening moves must have helped. Taking a great gulp, Kurt shuffled forward a step, then another. He glanced from the baseball cap that his ursine companion wore on its furry head, to the plaid shirt and jeans on its body. “Dave?”

He opened his mouth in a soft woof of agreement. Unfortunately, he could not manage English in this form. The mouth just wasn’t designed for it.

Kurt ventured one trembling hand outward to stroke his fingertips over a furry cheek. He managed an uncertain smile. “You really do look like Yogi now.”

Dave chuffed an approximation of a laugh. Closing his eyes, he concentrated again and transformed back. Kurt jumped at the suddenness of it. 

“Wow. That’s … amazing. Dave, how long have you been doing this?”

He shrugged. “Since the other bears let me in on the secret. A couple of years, I guess. I don’t do it very often. If people made my life miserable when they found out about me being gay, imagine what they’d do if they knew about this!”

Kurt nodded. “Why did you tell me? I mean, thank you for trusting me with this. That’s coming out in a way I never even imagined was possible! But why me? Does Blaine know too?”

“Because I do trust you, Kurt. More than anyone else in my life except my dad, I trust you. I told Dad, showed him, because I wanted to be honest and because I wanted to know if he could do it too. Turns out he can’t, but he’d heard the family legends enough to not be completely scared to death by it. He’s still coming around the idea that this is another natural part of me, but luckily he found it more fascinating than frightening. And no, Blaine doesn’t know. Something inside told me to keep it a secret.”

“I’m glad you did.”

He blew out a breath, angry all over again at the memory of Blaine’s selfish words. “Me too, but now,” he smiled, a not altogether friendly smile, “I think it’s time I showed him. You mind if I enlist the help of the guys?”

“Your … boyfriends, or bear friends, or …” Kurt said, struggling a little with the concept that Dave apparently knew a whole group of people who could do the incredible thing he had just done.

“Both, actually,” Dave admitted. “There’s something kind of hot about being with a guy who understands and accepts everything about you.”

Kurt looked a little sad. “I would imagine so.” Shaking off the mood, he said, “So what did you have in mind?”

Dave pulled a phone out of his pocket and sent a quick text. He grinned at the response that came back almost immediately. The guys were on board. It made him wonder just how blind he had been where Blaine was concerned, because by the enthusiasm with which they responded with wanting to ‘Scare the piss out of the little fucker!’ it was clear that his newest boyfriend had not exactly received a universal thumbs-up.

“Come with me. I have a few people I want you to meet.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Blaine Anderson staggered out of Scandals, weaving and pouting as he searched for the ride the bartender had told him would meet him here. Dave had disappeared to find Kurt, and neither one of them had come back. Jerks. There was no way he could drive in his current condition, even he could recognize that much, but for some reason there had been no cabs available. The bartender, some talking mustache named Arlo, had told him that one of ‘the boys’ would take him home.

A sound off to Blaine’s left made him jump. Had that been a growl? 

Another sound, from the right this time. It sounded like some kind of wild animal howling! 

Soon, the noises were coming from all sides. Snarls, yips, growling, baying … it was everywhere!

Blaine twisted right, then left, spinning in a circle so fast he nearly fell right on his face as the noises continued and then just abruptly stopped. 

Mopping off a sweaty brow, he tried to regain control of himself. Someone had just walked past a neighborhood full of dogs. That was it. Just some stupid mutts losing their shit over a jogger, or another dog out for a midnight run with its master.

The fact that Scandals was located far enough off the beaten path that no such sounds would have been audible from the nearest neighborhoods was conveniently ignored. After all, what else could it have been?

Suddenly, a louder noise scared a yelp from his lips. It was a roar this time, so close that it seemed to sound right in Blaine’s ear. He ducked behind a car, only to have another sound blast from just behind him. He ran, this way and that, trying to escape as every vehicle suddenly seemed to be hiding wildlife of some sort, just out of sight.

The sounds faded again. Just as Blaine began to relax, wondering what the hell had been in that last drink, a deafening roar came from right behind him. He screamed and jumped away as a gigantic grayish brown bear (A bear!!! In a parking lot in south Lima!!!) appeared from behind an SUV, loomed up on its hind legs and roared in anger, waving its paws threateningly.

Squealing and gibbering in terror, Blaine ran away, only to have another bear, brown and smaller than the first but still brandishing wickedly long claws, come running his way, cutting off his avenue of escape. A huge grizzly bear came out next, roaring so loudly that spittle flecked from its distended lips and landed on Blaine’s sleeve.

Dashing away the disgusting liquid, he looked around frantically for a way out. The bears hit all fours and slowly advanced on him, drooling and licking their lips as they beheld their well-dressed dinner, now marinated in a reeking, but apparently bear-approved, glaze of sweat and his own bodily waste.

Finally, looking behind him, Blaine saw his salvation. Kurt was emerging from the bar, apparently as oblivious to the chaos in the parking lot as every other person inside. Hauling ass toward him, Blaine grabbed him by the arm and hid behind him. “Kurt, help me! They’re after me! You’ve got to save me!”

The bears continued to advance, but Kurt just made a face. “Blaine? What the hell are you talking about? Who’s after you?”

“Them!” he shrieked, pointing to the advancing sloth of bears. (Were there even more of them now?) “They want to eat me! You’ve got to save me, Kurt!”

He impatiently shook off the clinging, clammy hands. “This isn’t funny, Blaine. I’ve had enough of being the butt of your jokes tonight. I’m going home in the morning. You can call me if you want to say goodbye, but otherwise just leave me alone.”

“But Kurt!” he wailed. “What about the bears!”

“Bears?” he repeated, blinking in surprise. Following Blaine’s pointing finger, Kurt looked right at the big gray bear and said, “What bears?”

“The … they’re right here!”

Kurt shook him off again. “You know what, Blaine? I don’t know what I ever saw in you. Leave me the hell alone.” He sniffed and recoiled in disgust. “And my god, take a shower!”

Flipping his head, Kurt walked away, straight through the center of the wild ursine pack, which paid him no more mind than he paid to them. Kurt just got in his car, started the ignition as calm as you please, and drove away, leaving Blaine to the mercy of the new arrivals.

The bears looked at one another as though conferring, then they hunkered down and started running right at Blaine. Turning on his heel, he screamed and ran as fast as he could. He had probably clocked a mile before he realized that no one was on his trail.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Gasping and panting, Blaine looked around frantically. There were no animals. No sound or sight of them at all. The night was quite peaceful, in fact. In reaction to his own relief, Blaine turned and heaved his night’s consumption of alcohol into a handy bush. God, never again. He was never touching another drop of that poison as long as he lived!

He began walking again, limping a little. Loafers with no socks were not designed for that kind of long distance running. Then, a familiar pickup rolled up next to him. He jumped, still touchy from his previous ordeal, then relaxed when he recognized, “Dave. Thank God it’s you.” 

“I saw you go bolting out of the parking lot,” Dave said mildly. “I’m sorry about our fight earlier. Thought I’d offer you a ride home to make up for it.”

His tone was sorrowful, contrite, and Blaine’s ego instantly puffed up at the sound of it. Of course Dave wanted him back now that he’d had some time to think, and who was Blaine to be unforgiving in the light of such wisdom! (Besides, there was no way he was walking another five miles to his current address in bear-infested Lima. Especially in these shoes!) “I’d appreciate that. Say, um, did you see or hear anything strange back at Scandals?”

“Nothing but Shirley screaming at Carl. That’s not exactly strange though, right?”

They shared a laugh. Shirley was the darling of Drag Queen Wednesday, but every other night, she mostly got her jollies from gin-soaked rants at her long suffering husband.

“Nope. Thanks, Dave.”

“No problem,” he said sweetly, buckling Blaine’s seat-belt for him as he got into the truck. He staunchly ignored the stench wafting off the other man, though he did leave the window open in self-preservation.

As the pickup truck pulled away, Dave subtly flicked the speaker open on his active cell phone.

When the passenger of the vehicle suddenly found himself being chauffeured by a snarling young bear in a baseball cap, his scream could be heard for miles. 

~*~*~*~*~

On the other end of the phone connection, Kurt Hummel smiled. Maybe he would stick around Lima an extra day. He owed Dave a clean handkerchief and a beer. And maybe a round or two for Buddy, Johnny, Red, and Arlo, though their rollicking laughter as Kurt pulled around the building in time to see Blaine take off like his pants were on fire proved that they had been well paid in entertainment.

THE END

Author’s Note: What happened to Blaine? Who knows! But I’m betting he won’t go picking up new guys at Scandals for a very long time to come. :)


End file.
